It's All a Dream!

It’s officially been one week now since Azadeh and I left Zambia! I am sad to report that, at this point, it all seems like a dream – (almost) everything has turned from everyday reality into memories – Significant exceptions are the many friendships we have formed and the lessons we learned.

I am back to the “real world” with full force. Although, I am currently in Hungary, visiting my dad, family and friends, I am spending the bulk of my time researching career opportunities. It’s getting too close to “game time” (our return to the US) and I want to hit the ground running. At this point, I am glad to have gotten away from life in the slow lane. I feel like I have just left a busy street with lots of pot holes, lights and heavy traffic, and entered a race track, where it’s just me, my car and no speed limits. I wonder how long this feeling will last - Sooner or later, I’ll likely run out of gas.

Don’t get me wrong. Although, I am happy to be “back”, I MISS ZAMBIA -- a LOT!! There are several things I miss, such as:

• First and foremost, I miss the people(!!!) In particular, I miss:

The little, barefooted kids in the compounds smiling and full of excitement yelling: “Wazungu! Wazungu!” as soon as they discovered us. Once all of the kids within a fifty yard radius gathered around, each one of them asked “How are you?” “How are you?” “How are you?” “How are you?” “How are you?” “How are you?” over and over and over again…. Laughing with full enjoyment every time we responded! I certainly miss those kids!!!!

The newspaper sellers who greeted us every morning on the way to work with big smiles on their faces.

The street vendors who tried to sell anything from fruits and vegetables to games to clothes to household items to puppies (yes you can buy puppies while waiting for the light to turn green).

The “market vendors” who came up with all sorts of reasons why I should buy something that I don’t need or want.

The maids – in particular Idah who helped us for the bulk of the time we were there. We’re particularly happy about having hired her, because we feel that we supported a good cause (her education) and we feel that we were able to mentor her at least at some minimal level.

The PCI Staff – These are the people we spent most of our time with. Without them, we would just have been another “Tourist Muzungu” couple.

Friends who not only were part of our social life, but who also helped us a LOT!! (from teaching us how things work in Zambia, to checking out cars for us, to letting us borrow things,…)

The Garden Girls & (especially) The Bauleni Boys who are an amazing group of youth

The Baha’i Community which is just exceptional!

• Further, I miss being in a situation where I feel I can help people – of course, there is always a way to serve humanity and to help people, but it’s not as “easy” here as it is there, because the “level” and the “visibility” of needs are very different.
• I miss “our” house – It was a small, one-bedroom place on our landlord’s property, but I simply LOVED it! – even with temporary (but frequent) interruptions of power and water and all! (A better working shower, and a bathroom sink that my hands actually fit in would have perfected the place… but then again, nothing is perfect, right?!)
• I miss Nature – although I am arguably in the middle of “nature” as I’m writing this (I don’t think you can name a fruit or vegetable that my dad has not planted on his land), but it’s certainly not the same – there are no lions or leopards here that you can take pictures of – there are no elephants that you can ride on – there are no crocs that you can kiss – there are no snakes that you can hold – there are no monkeys that block the roads – there are no Victoria falls to admire – there are no Cheetahs to nibble on you or scratch you….
• I miss the “positiveness” – Zambians in general are very positive people, especially those living in poverty. It seems that the less they have, the happier they are. The people living in compounds always managed to put a smile on their face when we saw them. People (for the most part) seemed to be thankful for the little they had. Unfortunately, the ones that “had more” were not “as positive” as pride started to play a part, and people appeared to want to “one up” another. I can’t imagine how I am going to feel about this once I get back to the US, in particular Orange County.
• I miss the chaos – Not only do I have to “re-adjust” to driving on the RIGHT side of the road, but I also have to “re-adjust” to actually following traffic rules. It’s amazing how people here actually STOP when the light turns red. I think in Zambia they need to go one step above red – maybe purple?! Another unforgettable experience I’ll miss, that in a way also shows Zambia’s peacefulness, is that an entire group of us was able to fly from Lusaka to Mfuwe and back and stay at a lodge without being asked for any kind identification whatsoever – further, some of us caused the metal detector to go off (at both airports), and no one cared. When was the last time that happened to you?!?!

LESSONS LEARNED in Zambia

There are LOTS of lessons I learned and EXPERIENCED in Zambia. A few examples are:

Patience – Everything was sooooo SLOW and sooooo LATE. In the beginning, I couldn’t help but explode due to frustration, but gradually, I became immune and developed a lot of patience, particularly for things that weren’t under my control.

Be Thankful and stay Positive – Life is NOT a competition!!! That does not mean that one should not pursue one’s dreams or try to improve oneself – it simply means that jealousy and pride are not healthy!

Things aren’t always as they appear – One of our friends sponsored a kid’s school tuition – just to find out later that the kid dropped out of school. Needless to say, our friend became very disappointed and considered quitting sponsorships! However, upon questioning the boy about the reasons, it turned out that it wasn’t the kid’s choice to drop out – The mother decided that it was more important to use the “tuition assistance” to provide food for the family. Although our friend thinks that this was the “wrong” decision, he can’t help but accept it, learn from it, and more importantly appreciate the truthfulness of the boy and his mom. When he sponsors kids now, he pays the school directly, in an effort to prevent these kinds of issues.

Communication – There are plenty of examples that truly show the importance of this. One simple one is related to the example above. If that same mother would have communicated the family’s situation to our friend – whether directly or through her son – there would have been plenty of ways to solve the issue of insufficient income without causing the son to fall back an entire year.

LIVE YOUR LIFE – After my experience of living in Zambia, I can’t help but notice how “attached” most people are to their paychecks and to their lifestyles. In the US, for example, it is common to work (at LEAST 40 hours) per week. Further, it is not uncommon to see that people even work on their days off. On average, employees get two weeks vacation, maybe three, if they are lucky. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that lifestyle. However, it is important to note that this is a CHOICE or simply an OPTION for most people, and I don’t think that most people see it as such. “Alternative options” may mean less income, which may mean “fewer” material goods or less certainty or “alternative options” may mean taking on a higher level of risk with a potential of making more money. The important lesson here, and likely the most important one I learned through my experience in Zambia is this: It is imperative to consciously make decisions about one’s lifestyle! What is HAPPINESS worth to you?